Inspiration

I watched Obama address Congress this week and a couple of things he said really resonated with me. Of course, these are not the first time I've heard the words, but the first time that they inspired these thoughts for me. He talked about Ted Kennedy and stated that he is always asking what he can do for his country (I could be totally wrong, but I'll give it to Teddy...). He also talked about increasing funding for environmental preservation and it got me to thinking about what I could do. So here's what my thought was:

I've wanted update my house with new paint colors, carpet, furniture, updated kitchen and baths. We also have to replace some of the siding on the outside. So while we're outside, why not add some Solar Panels and make our contribution? I wonder how much solar panels are? What if I buy more, would I be able to lower the price -- you know, buying in volume. So then I thought, what if I petitioned the neighborhood to see who else might be interested in doing something to improve their house and improve the environment at the same time? Wow, I could meet a bunch of new people. And I bet I could practically hire my own crew to do all the installations since our job market sucks right now. And I could support one of our nations rising energy technologies. All of a sudden, I had my own business right here in my little noggin. If I persued it, it could happen. The power of possibility...

Just random thoughts today...

It's midweek, I'm so happy. Today is an easy day at work, the weather plans to be 80+ again today and I have no heavy plans for the weekend besides school. This is the feeling that I like. Last weekend was nuts. I do have some things to get taken care of. Taxes and starting my paper for my class. It's all good.

Oh. So I woke up with an eye infection. How convenient is it that I have an eye appointment today? Yea me! Speculation on how I got the eye infection? Either a sinus infection or sensitivity to purple eye shadow. Not kidding on the purple eye shadow.

I was pondering the other day about how many times a day I change clothes. When I get up. When I get home. When I get ready for bed. That makes for a lot of laundry. You would think I was in middle school.

A long weekend

I can't seem too get to the weekends fast enough, and then they are gone. Tuesday comes and it still feels like Monday, then Thursday hits and Friday is a blur. Saturday morning class, then off to run whatever errands. Sunday sleep late, make breakfast, shop for groceries, catch up on house stuff, work a second job and it all starts over.

This weekend I met with a lovely friend. We meet about once a month for coffee and e-mail when we need each other. We talk over our feelings about relationships, life and work. We give each other advice and then follow up the next time. I admire her a great deal and feel privileged that she is my friend.

What I know is this. I need some me time!! I can't wait for Spring Break! No work, no school. My mornings fly by. Today I've pulled out my text book, run a load of laundry, ironed two pair of pants, more to do later, and almost passed up doing a post. I have lots in my head to get out. I can't afford to pass up doing posts!!

Blue

I've been lingering over thoughts of an old friend. A good friend. More time spent together than can be calculated. But I've been turning from the relationship. Have to turn. It wasn't healthy. I didn't llike who I was turning into with her. Someone I don't want to become. To many negative feelings.

I was okay moving on until she was the topic of a long discussion. I fell into gossip and wanted to know more. Wanted to know what she thought and said. But it just hurts. More than anything why didn't she ask me what happened? Could she really care about us if she never asks? In my heart I know that she would never ask without being prompted. Our mutual friend told her to call me, but instead she sends an email, says she's here for me, misses me.

She feels like a list of transgressions. I don't keep track. I can't get this list out of my head. When I see her, she is the list.

This is so unhealthy, but I almost want to conduct an experiment with this relationship and act as though absolutely nothing is wrong. It's more of a social experiment to see her response. Kind of like throwing out a fishing line....

Just another day....

So, a rather exciting day at work. When I arrived, I was greeted with: We're having fresh air today. The front door is open! Well yes it was, and this is quite unusual. One of our office leaders is highly...sensitive. To everything. Like breathing for example.

But so it was. The door was propped open. But also in front of me was a typical office trash can, filled with dark gray glass. The front door really. In very small pieces. I never really considered that in the correct proportions that a glass door could fill a small trash can a little more than half way. Hmmm. As it turns out, the lawn maintenance person caught a rock just right and it shattered the glass via the weed wacker. The business was already considering changing the logo on the front door as we have recently updated our business profile including an updated website and a new logo. Not only that, a comment was made recently about how dirty the glass was on the door with the evening setting sun. Does he really think I'm going to do windows at work? I don't even do windows at home! So instead of just taking off the previous lettering, we secretly had the glass shattered so that we could get a shiny clean new one and just have new lettering put on with our logo.

Also, like I was greeted, the rest of the office staff was similarly greeted, and our customers as well. For about half the day.

Studying this week has been essentially non-existent. I sat down this evening, the eleventh hour, to finish reading the chapter for this week. Nothing stuck. I read the key parts twice, trying really to absorb the info, knowing really that the likelihood of having a class lecture on the information is pretty slim. Seriously, I'm on my own here. And I don't know a soul in the class. I've been Chatty Cathy with a lady that sits in front of me. Sadly, she wants to talk while others in the class are sharing with the teacher. I can't hear two conversations at once. I simply don't have this skill. I do want to chat with her though because she took this class for a couple weeks last semester, so I want to know what she knows. But she was with a different teacher.

I happened onto a website that lets you comment on your professors. I had heard about it before, but forgot to look it up. So I took an opportunity. I looked up my teacher. He has 3 comments. All of them talked about what a great teacher he is! Wow! In my experience with the college, he is my least favorite. I have never had a class where the information that you are required to know is not presented to you in some fashion. I go to this class and we talk about community crime events for 2 1/2 hours. I digress. My disillusionment ran deep this week.

I have the last shift of the required community service this weekend. Valentines Day. Nothing says I love you like supporting a loved one through their community service, on cupids special day. Whatever.

Goals: still working on posting more often. I really like to post in the morning, I'm too tired when I get home and my brain is more fresh. Speaks for itself.....

Setting the Goal

So I started off wanting to write a little something everyday, and life got in the way. My usual schedule allows me to leave for work at 9 am Monday through Thursday, and I'm at work by 8 am on Fridays. That doesn't give me time to sit and process on Fridays. But I wanted to, so that must count for something. Anyway, the same thoughts keep spinning about my head, so its all good.

I have class on Saturday mornings. It just started 3 weeks ago and today was the 3rd class. I have to say that I am quite unsure of this class as the teacher is pretty unconventional. We have spent every class talking about current events and his experience and then the object is to relate this to the readings in the text. Or, he'll switch it up and bring up a specific event then ask the class which term it applies to in the text. This is not my favorite game. Can we talk about a term, then talk about the current event to which it applies? I have no idea what the testing is going to be like in the class. He's already said multiple choice and true/false, but I don't know. There seems to be no predictable factor in this class for me. I am going to have to work my butt off.

I've been considering my goals. One of which is to blog. Regularly. So how often is that? I would have to set that at 3-5 times a week. That's do-able. My only other goal until now was to finish school. Since this is a long term goal, and is taking a long time, I need something else in the mix to focus on. And this got me to thinking about some of the things that I wanted to accomplish. Overall, school is the big one, but looking ahead to what I want in my career is a big one. Do something I love. Helping others is big.

Learn more about blogging and writing. Hmmm. Probably not an original thought, but one I am compelled toward. I am forever lurking around in blogs. I have my favorites and click around on new blogs all the time to read about the lives of others. This is a significant interest to me as I see more and more memoirs come in to the market. Blogging is an international affair. I aim to be a part of that.

There are some very interesting and inspiring people in our world. I have learned once again quality over quantity. I really wanted to write a character assassination about a person to whom I have been close for a long time, but also know that this will not make me feel better. To all things there is a season. I believe the season has changed for this friendship and it is time to move on. There is no perfect way to do this, and is difficult for both of us. On the other hand, the practice writing about a character would be a great exercise and a great outlet. There are lots of characters that I would like to develop. If I get good at this, one would never know if it were real or fictional.

So, Big Goal: Finishing School
Smaller goal: Writing blogs 3-5 times a week
Learning more about blogging
Writing more

more to come...

Opening Day

Today is my first day as 5 Elephants. I created this blog to provide an outlet for myself and some privacy to openly complain about whatever I want. Sometimes its friends, sometimes family, sometimes work, sometimes school. But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings I just want to get it out of me!

So, today I set a goal of writing each day. I want to have fun, exercise my brain and relieve stress.

Something I love: my first cup of coffee each day. I love the creaminess that my vanilla creamer adds. The warmth of the coffee flows through my body, sparking my brain and limbs into life after a night of slumber. I like too wrap my fingers around the cup and let the warmth travel through my hands and up my arms. I close my eyes and see a forest of naked trees, blanketed in snow, awaiting the arrival of spring and thawing. Perhaps a deer jaunts through, wearing a red scarf. Ha ha ha

In a few minutes, I will be jaunting myself across town to work. I was asked yesterday if I liked what I do. I responded, sometimes. That's an honest answer. I would however like to like what I do all the time. More people should aspire for that. That does require making changes over time and recognizing when you are settling. I would love to get to a point when I can make a change because the time is right and not be tied to the paycheck that comes with the job. One of these days that will not be the issue. In the meantime, I will continue to do what I do, until I find something that I love to do. Perhaps if I love to write, then I can love that and then doing what I do won't be so bad.

My lovely cat is staring at me. I see her questioning me: Why did you take my chair? Why is it so cold in the house all day? Why can't I sit in your lap endlessly? I like sharing your pillow, your head is warm. Very needy. She's getting older though. 17 this spring. She's skin and bones, eats pretty well, is currently screeching in the other room, and like the new rug that I got over the weekend. She will probably like the new couch I buy to go with it. She also can walk and hurl at the same time, leaving a bit of a trail sometimes. I digress.

Time has come to wrap it up for now. I'm off to the bank, then work. Why does it have to be a 4 letter word?